


Burn too slow

by Siseja



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: ????!Victor, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, Fanfic of Fanfic, Humor, M/M, Omega!Yuuri, Omegaverse, Phichit is awesome, Siseja actually writes a thing, Victor gets his shit together, Wow, Yuuri makes a stand, anti-slow burn, because in the end it doesnt even matter, delta!victor, heck victor is probably such a special snowflake he's like, look there is a reason i'm not actually a person who writes fic, mentions of sex I guess????????????, or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 17:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9133258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siseja/pseuds/Siseja
Summary: Because Victor and Yuuri are both being dumbasses and I can't take it anymoreThis is a fanfic of a fanfic written in like half an hour on new years eve (oh look it's 2017!). If it doesn't make sense to you, then it probably wasn't supposed to.From after chapter 10





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RivDeV](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RivDeV/gifts).
  * Inspired by [You Can't Plan for Everything](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799475) by [RivDeV](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RivDeV/pseuds/RivDeV). 



Phitchit has a secret. It’s not actually much of a secret because the thought has crossed the mind of most people who have met him, it just has never been scientifically proven. You see, the truth is that Phichit is legitimately awesome. So awesome in fact that after his call with Yuuri, he was immediately able to deduce the situation.

It was time to give Victor a wake-up call.

Literally.

Because, due to subconsciously sensing the incoming awesome he would be confronted with, Victor had preemptively taken a nap to try to load up on some mojo after finishing his training session with Yuuri, and thus is very much jolted awake by his phone belting out Flawless by Beyoncé. This was not Victor’s ringtone. As much as he wished it were so, Victor does not even have this song on his phone. No, it was merely the power of Phichit’s awesome once again bending reality just a little in order to accommodate his mere presence. Only three other people in recorded history have possessed similar magnitudes of awesome. One of them is Beoyncé herself. But I am getting off track.

“Victor, you’re being a knothead,” is the first thing said knothead hears as he picks up the phone.

“As much as that might be true, I would like to know who is accusing me,” he replies.

“Oh right. Yeah this is Phichit. I’m calling to clean up your mess,” the truly amazing being that is Phichit himself explains.

“How did you get my number?”

“That is of no consequence to you-“

“Uhm, that actually has direct consequence to me,” Victor shoots in

“-what matters is that Yuuri will never ask you to spend his heat with you, because he is as blind as a goat and has no self-esteem, so all your painfully obvious hinting is going right over his head and he is currently convinced you’d only agree to do the heat thing out of some strange sense of duty-“

“That’s not what-“ Victor starts to protest.

“-which is obviously as incorrect as it gets, I mean, I may be in an entirely different country altogether and you might be suppressing your scent, but I can smell your interest in our dear little katsudon all the way from here. So unless you want him to make the worst decision of his life just because of some badly communicated misunderstanding because you weren’t clear enough and he wasn’t brave enough, I very much highly suggest you go and EXPLICITLY ask him to let you grind your genitals against his for a week. It’s a highly recommended experience, I should know.”

“But I-“

“No buts!” Phichit interrupts. “Also add a few ‘I love you’s and ‘you’re the only one for me’s while you’re at it. He’ll eat that right up. But not like the play-boyish way you international world record breaking celebrities do it, say it the way that makes your gandmother still want to kiss your old grandpa’s old wrinkly toothless mouth. Got it?”

“Got it” Victor says.

“Splendid. Now go get dat ass” Phichit says, his grin so radiant and awesome Victor can feel its heat through the phone line.

“Oh and Victor?”

“Yes?”

“If you fuck this up like you’ve been doing so far, skating records aren’t the only things your body will be breaking…” The phone line does dead as Phichit hangs up.

Victor gulps. But no use lingering. He has a job to do!

Said job is called Katsuki Yuuri btw, and can be found weeping his eyes out the next door over, because being Katsuki Yuuri is hard. It’s hard and no one understands.

“Wipe your tears, young padawan, for I am here!” Victor exclaims as he bursts into Yuuri’s bedroom.

“I wasn’t crying” Yuuri says.

“What really?” And indeed, Yuuri’s eyes are dry and not even the least bit puffy. “That’s odd, I was so certain you were crying there for a moment.”

“Must be a continuity error” Yuuri concludes.

(He is right. Yuuri wasn’t crying at all. My bad)

“Nevermind that though!” Victor continues. “Let me spend your heat with you!”

“Because you’re my coach?” Yuuri asks, not sounding very impressed (he isn’t.)

“No! Because you’re a smoking hot piece of ass with an even more gorgeous piece of personality and I already fell in love with you many months ago and also though I respect your choice to do whatever the actual fuck you want with your body and your sex life, the thought of you spending your heat with people who are not me makes me like super really incredibly jealous and I genuinely think I am the better choice anyway,” Victor says, all in one breath.

“…So not because you’re my coach?” Yuuri asks, sounding a little bit more impressed (he is).

“Definitely not because I’m your coach. Me wanting to spend your heat with you because I’m your coach doesn’t even make any sense in the first place because that’s incredibly unprofessional so it should actually be the opposite but I’m Victor Fucking Nikiforov and I do what I want (within reason).”

“Good thing you added that parenthesis in there because otherwise I would have had to correct you there” Yuuri comments. “How did you even do that in the first place anyway, this is a spoken conversation.”

“aha! But that is merely what they want you to think!” Victor exclaims, wriggling his eyebrows a lot.

“what?” Yuuri stares.

“what?”

“….”

“Ok but so how about it? Heat partners? y/y?” Victor wriggles his eyebrows some more.

“If you keep doing that, your eyebrows are gonna make a break for it and end up in Latvia”

“why Latvia?”

“It’s only natural.”

“….”

“Yes.” Yuuri says.

“Yes what?”

“Yes. Please spend my heat with me. But only on one condition” Yuuri explains, holding up one finger like people do when they say the thing.

“Anything for you, my sweet Yuuri!” Victor says, his mouth doing the heart shape thing we all know and love.

“You also have to spend every single one of my heats with me for the rest of my life. No take-backsies!”

“Yuuri”

“Yes, Victor”

“that is the best fucking idea you have ever had.”

“I am glad we agree, Victor.”

 

 

And so it came to be, that Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov spent Yuuri’s heat week together. For the week leading up to it they did nothing but cuddle and whisper sweet nothings to each other (regularly interrupted by Makkachin whining about going on walks), and when Yuuri’s heat started they did nothing but have lots of really hot kinky exploratory sex that they both really enjoyed and had a great time with, with short intervals of cuddling and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Oh and also eating and hydrating because heat week is really exhausting and self care is important. Stay hydrated out there, everyone!

When Yuuri’s heat week ended, they both took a shower, slept for two days and then immediately went to the nearest chapel to get hitched, because you can only confess your love to each other in the throes of super intense pheromone-induced passion so many times before someone ends up proposing to the other, and because Yuuri and Victor are both dumb lovesick puppies, the other just HAD to accept the proposal and afterwards, when they were a bit more clear-headed (and done with their happy-crying for the moment), they talked it over and decided to actually go through with it.

Dumbasses

<3

**Author's Note:**

> Update: Due to a break in the scientific community and updated technology, Phichit has finally been officially scientifically proven to be Awesome! Congratulations, Phichit! We're all very proud!


End file.
